I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends
To honor this week — National Infertility Awareness Week — and in an attempt to pay it forward to others experiencing infertility, I’m sharing some learnings that helped me along my journey. I hope they make yours a little easier.
The Lesson Learned
Helping others is one of the greatest gifts of life. Asking for help is giving that gift to someone else. A partner. A friend. A therapist. A community of strangers in a Facebook group who talk in code: “ISO MEN in Dallas, TX.” (IYKYK) Figure out what supports will serve you, and then prioritize those relationships. Spend time with them every day. Communicate with them — more than you think you “should.”
The Journey
People want to be there for you, and often the only way they know how to do that is when you tell them. I learned some of this the hard way and refused to ask for help or time or even a listening ear for a long time. Some may call this stubbornness (ahem, my husband). I like to think it’s independence. Turns out independent women still need help.
Things I often have to repeat to myself before asking for help:
Asking for help is not complaining.
This is not a burden.
What is the specific thing I need?
How does this benefit more than just me?
Just yesterday, I experienced my first major pregnancy symptom (yes, I know how lucky I am to be six months in and pretty much symptom-free). My first thought was to Google what I was feeling, try to find the best remedy on my own, and power through.
Instead, I remembered the words I had just written above and turned to my community. Within a couple of hours, I had the answers I needed, a dozen thoughtful responses, and many heart-warming stories to help me through. I was then able to share those answers with others — because I know I’m not the only one whose belly seems to have taken over my body seemingly overnight.
Whatever journey you’re on, you are not alone. People have been there before you. They are eager to help you get to the other side. Others will come after you. Soon enough, you’ll be able to help show them the way. And if you are ISO MEN in Dallas, TX, hit me up. 😉